How to Get Through an Irish Winter If You’re Single
January 14, 2017 (No Comments) by Annabel Hynes

how-to-get-through-an-irish-winter-single

It seems to be a rule in Irish culture, that there is always at least one aunt or grandmother that will consistently make a good-natured enquiry about your relationship status above all else, even your job, health or whether you actually enjoyed their Christmas pudding. If you’re a single pringle that may or may not be ready to mingle just yet, this process can be utterly gruelling, especially at Winter time, so how do you endure it?

Get Away From The Small Talk Altogether

Avoiding the tractor-beam stare of the relatives you only see twice a year isn’t easy, and obviously avoiding them – and other family members – isn’t something you can keep up for very long. Besides, maybe you do want to hear about family scandals that don’t involve you, but it shouldn’t be mandatory that while you sit and converse, you’re forced to wait for that line to drop: “So, any boyfriend/girlfriend?”

The kinder ones might insinuate that a “heartbreaker” like you couldn’t possibly still be single, which in some ways, is infinitely worse. Dodging this may be as simple as making an excuse about finishing that never ending college assignment or prepping for a big work meeting the following day. Of course, you should be doing this anyway, and not for such a selfish reason, but if it gets you out of having to cobble together some feeble excuse about ‘playing the field’, can anyone really blame you?

Never Mind Me, How’s That Divorce Treating You, Sharon?

Coming up with some outlandish and viciously sarcastic response to the question of whether you’ve landed a significant other may not be palatable to everyone, particularly those who are the darlings of their grandparents. The urge to give people a piece of your mind when they go after your personal life with nosy inquiries increases tenfold the more time goes on, and certainly the more people ask.

I bring to you the option of just flat out lying in a creative way that will annoy older people and make fellow members of the Twitter generation laugh in appreciation (probably). Telling someone that your time has been dedicated to building a cheese empire instead of dating goes over uproariously in some circles, less so in others.

cheese-empire

Make Up A Story

There might be a romantic comedy in here somewhere, but only if you press your friend, who’s actually in love with you, to accompany you to family functions and pose as your boyfriend/girlfriend. Otherwise, you’re relegated to spinning a tale about meeting some conveniently indescribable individual on a freezing cold January night outside the chipper after the local nightclub finished, and how you’ve been pursuing a tentative relationship with them ever since. That sounds plausible, doesn’t it?

This is a riskier path to take, and since everyone in Ireland knows one another, mentioning a ‘Sinead’ or a ‘Conor’ will just lead to enthusiastic follow-up questions that list every Sinead or Conor that’s ever rolled through your county. Hardly worth it. Talking about casual relationships or a “someone” that’s “not serious” might get you through the conversation instead, even if it is with a sternly raised eyebrow and a pointed lecture on not getting pregnant, or as the case may be, not getting somebody else pregnant.

Honesty Is Hard But Good

At the end of the (undoubtedly long) day, it is your life, and not a topic of gossip. Maybe you just came out of a long relationship, or have had multiple partners in the past year that didn’t last long, or you just prefer your own company. Maybe you saw some PDA somewhere at an impressionable age and decided that sort of thing wasn’t for you.

Love lives are to be discussed in a delicate way, rather than bulldozed over because the small talk is lulling, so it’s okay to skip over the subject or outright state that you’re just single for the time being. That’s what it’ll come down to eventually, so the longer you draw it out with quips and diversions the more awkward it will get. Talking smack about exes with your most laid-back aunt while the wine dwindles is a better way to go about the whole thing anyway.

honesty-is-hard-but-good

The holidays are over and the winter is about to be as well, so hopefully you’re past the worst of the annual interrogations. Update your tinder profile to assuage your guilt and enjoy the fact that your bank account is off the hook for Valentine’s Day.

Annabel Hynes
Lifestyle and entertainment writer with an interest in politics, despite the groans it incites at the dinner table. Sci-fi obsessive.

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How to Get Through an Irish Winter If You’re Single
January 14, 2017 (No Comments) by Annabel Hynes

how-to-get-through-an-irish-winter-single

It seems to be a rule in Irish culture, that there is always at least one aunt or grandmother that will consistently make a good-natured enquiry about your relationship status above all else, even your job, health or whether you actually enjoyed their Christmas pudding. If you’re a single pringle that may or may not be ready to mingle just yet, this process can be utterly gruelling, especially at Winter time, so how do you endure it?

Get Away From The Small Talk Altogether

Avoiding the tractor-beam stare of the relatives you only see twice a year isn’t easy, and obviously avoiding them – and other family members – isn’t something you can keep up for very long. Besides, maybe you do want to hear about family scandals that don’t involve you, but it shouldn’t be mandatory that while you sit and converse, you’re forced to wait for that line to drop: “So, any boyfriend/girlfriend?”

The kinder ones might insinuate that a “heartbreaker” like you couldn’t possibly still be single, which in some ways, is infinitely worse. Dodging this may be as simple as making an excuse about finishing that never ending college assignment or prepping for a big work meeting the following day. Of course, you should be doing this anyway, and not for such a selfish reason, but if it gets you out of having to cobble together some feeble excuse about ‘playing the field’, can anyone really blame you?

Never Mind Me, How’s That Divorce Treating You, Sharon?

Coming up with some outlandish and viciously sarcastic response to the question of whether you’ve landed a significant other may not be palatable to everyone, particularly those who are the darlings of their grandparents. The urge to give people a piece of your mind when they go after your personal life with nosy inquiries increases tenfold the more time goes on, and certainly the more people ask.

I bring to you the option of just flat out lying in a creative way that will annoy older people and make fellow members of the Twitter generation laugh in appreciation (probably). Telling someone that your time has been dedicated to building a cheese empire instead of dating goes over uproariously in some circles, less so in others.

cheese-empire

Make Up A Story

There might be a romantic comedy in here somewhere, but only if you press your friend, who’s actually in love with you, to accompany you to family functions and pose as your boyfriend/girlfriend. Otherwise, you’re relegated to spinning a tale about meeting some conveniently indescribable individual on a freezing cold January night outside the chipper after the local nightclub finished, and how you’ve been pursuing a tentative relationship with them ever since. That sounds plausible, doesn’t it?

This is a riskier path to take, and since everyone in Ireland knows one another, mentioning a ‘Sinead’ or a ‘Conor’ will just lead to enthusiastic follow-up questions that list every Sinead or Conor that’s ever rolled through your county. Hardly worth it. Talking about casual relationships or a “someone” that’s “not serious” might get you through the conversation instead, even if it is with a sternly raised eyebrow and a pointed lecture on not getting pregnant, or as the case may be, not getting somebody else pregnant.

Honesty Is Hard But Good

At the end of the (undoubtedly long) day, it is your life, and not a topic of gossip. Maybe you just came out of a long relationship, or have had multiple partners in the past year that didn’t last long, or you just prefer your own company. Maybe you saw some PDA somewhere at an impressionable age and decided that sort of thing wasn’t for you.

Love lives are to be discussed in a delicate way, rather than bulldozed over because the small talk is lulling, so it’s okay to skip over the subject or outright state that you’re just single for the time being. That’s what it’ll come down to eventually, so the longer you draw it out with quips and diversions the more awkward it will get. Talking smack about exes with your most laid-back aunt while the wine dwindles is a better way to go about the whole thing anyway.

honesty-is-hard-but-good

The holidays are over and the winter is about to be as well, so hopefully you’re past the worst of the annual interrogations. Update your tinder profile to assuage your guilt and enjoy the fact that your bank account is off the hook for Valentine’s Day.

Annabel Hynes
Lifestyle and entertainment writer with an interest in politics, despite the groans it incites at the dinner table. Sci-fi obsessive.

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