Is There A Formula To Online Dating In Ireland?
December 16, 2016 (No Comments) by Aidan Clarke

is-there-a-formula-to-online-dating-in-ireland

Let’s call a spade what it is here, if there was an effective formula for online dating there would probably be no single people; none, a whole cohort of people extinct.

Writers of books, articles, songs, poems, television shows about the woes and delights of the heart would be unemployed. A multi-billion-dollar enterprise and its treasure trove of personal information about 100’s of millions of people and those they employ, gone.

The whole industry is designed specifically to play off the fears of the loveless and on the aspirations of the lovelorn. Where the end goal is hopeful happiness and a massive day out in a carefully chosen ‘House Hotel’ or ‘Castle’, notions dependent, somewhere before moving swiftly into the career of actual adulting.

Or it can simply provide a distraction until that arrives. We are human after all. So is there a formula for the last of a not so dying breed of singletons to be successful at online dating?

Be Yourself

Well, like most things in life this is as muddled a pond as you could see. The main component of the formula is to be you, be honest and have some idea of what you want from the experience.

On honesty, be yourself. That’s right, yourself. Don’t paint yourself as some Doctor Drake Ramoray figure when all you really are is some two bit smell the fart actor pretending to be a neurosurgeon. People aren’t stupid and you will be found out also, dishonesty is hardly a spectacular starting point for a relationship.

doctor-drake-ramoray

Leave It In Your Pants

You wouldn’t sidle up to someone in a bar and open a conversation by dropping trou so why do it online? Tumblr and the internet at large are swamped with unsolicited pictures and videos of average joes in the nip manhandling themselves into all manner of contortions. It is not classy, not funny and could leave you wide open to revenge porn.

Choose your profile picture and any others you share wisely, as in make sure your mates aren’t in it (or if they are then kindly inform the viewer which one you are) or worse; one with your mother. And don’t let them all be selfies, it looks like you’ve no friends.

And please, please leave any fish mouth related facial poses where they belong-on the faces of actual fish. Whatever the nature of the picture, try to look like you’re having fun or at least merry enough to look happy but not locked.

Confidence Is King

Write something about yourself in the profile. You are, at the end of the day, trying to sell yourself. If you were applying for a job would you send off a half written CV? Write a little blurb about yourself, keep it light and positive and don’t be afraid to show some confidence, it’s a quality that is pretty attractive but don’t lose the run of yourself.

You should be clear about your intentions from the start. If you’re just out for a bit of fun with another consenting adult or five, then that’s fine. Similarly, if it’s something more that you’re after then that should be stated. With actual words from your mouth, people are not mind readers.

Don’t Get Lost In Translation

Mobile dating is all well and good, people lead busier lives and some just want to date from the comfort of their own home. Great, go for it but remember that there’s no tone in messages no matter how many laughing face emojis are inserted.

We humans pick up almost as much from non-verbal communication as we do from speaking so don’t let online be your only avenue. Get out more. And while you’re out don’t sit in the corner of a crowded venue swiping your way through Tinder or Grindr because the others around will surely pick up the ‘eau de desperation’ off you.

emoji-confusion

Keep Your Head In The Game

Most importantly, be safe. Not just physically but mentally too. Ultimately online dating can be a toxic, unsettling game.

It may come to a stage where you look forlornly at your phone wondering why no one is swiping or liking or whatever you. It can shake your confidence and unless you’re able to deal with those times then avoid it. Be careful with yourself and respect others, those things cost nothing. If anyone crosses the line, block or report them.

The formula if any is thus; have fun, keep your clothes on until the right time, communication is paramount and go out a bit. And please stay off it when it’s half three in the morning after you’ve been out out, you’re just locked so go to bed as it will, according to research, only add to The Fear.

Aidan Clarke
Looking at becoming one of those interesting 40 year olds who still doesn’t know what to do, that’s the goal. In the meantime though, travel, mundane experiences filtered to death, notions concerning station in life and blooper reels keep this boat afloat.

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Is There A Formula To Online Dating In Ireland?
December 16, 2016 (No Comments) by Aidan Clarke

is-there-a-formula-to-online-dating-in-ireland

Let’s call a spade what it is here, if there was an effective formula for online dating there would probably be no single people; none, a whole cohort of people extinct.

Writers of books, articles, songs, poems, television shows about the woes and delights of the heart would be unemployed. A multi-billion-dollar enterprise and its treasure trove of personal information about 100’s of millions of people and those they employ, gone.

The whole industry is designed specifically to play off the fears of the loveless and on the aspirations of the lovelorn. Where the end goal is hopeful happiness and a massive day out in a carefully chosen ‘House Hotel’ or ‘Castle’, notions dependent, somewhere before moving swiftly into the career of actual adulting.

Or it can simply provide a distraction until that arrives. We are human after all. So is there a formula for the last of a not so dying breed of singletons to be successful at online dating?

Be Yourself

Well, like most things in life this is as muddled a pond as you could see. The main component of the formula is to be you, be honest and have some idea of what you want from the experience.

On honesty, be yourself. That’s right, yourself. Don’t paint yourself as some Doctor Drake Ramoray figure when all you really are is some two bit smell the fart actor pretending to be a neurosurgeon. People aren’t stupid and you will be found out also, dishonesty is hardly a spectacular starting point for a relationship.

doctor-drake-ramoray

Leave It In Your Pants

You wouldn’t sidle up to someone in a bar and open a conversation by dropping trou so why do it online? Tumblr and the internet at large are swamped with unsolicited pictures and videos of average joes in the nip manhandling themselves into all manner of contortions. It is not classy, not funny and could leave you wide open to revenge porn.

Choose your profile picture and any others you share wisely, as in make sure your mates aren’t in it (or if they are then kindly inform the viewer which one you are) or worse; one with your mother. And don’t let them all be selfies, it looks like you’ve no friends.

And please, please leave any fish mouth related facial poses where they belong-on the faces of actual fish. Whatever the nature of the picture, try to look like you’re having fun or at least merry enough to look happy but not locked.

Confidence Is King

Write something about yourself in the profile. You are, at the end of the day, trying to sell yourself. If you were applying for a job would you send off a half written CV? Write a little blurb about yourself, keep it light and positive and don’t be afraid to show some confidence, it’s a quality that is pretty attractive but don’t lose the run of yourself.

You should be clear about your intentions from the start. If you’re just out for a bit of fun with another consenting adult or five, then that’s fine. Similarly, if it’s something more that you’re after then that should be stated. With actual words from your mouth, people are not mind readers.

Don’t Get Lost In Translation

Mobile dating is all well and good, people lead busier lives and some just want to date from the comfort of their own home. Great, go for it but remember that there’s no tone in messages no matter how many laughing face emojis are inserted.

We humans pick up almost as much from non-verbal communication as we do from speaking so don’t let online be your only avenue. Get out more. And while you’re out don’t sit in the corner of a crowded venue swiping your way through Tinder or Grindr because the others around will surely pick up the ‘eau de desperation’ off you.

emoji-confusion

Keep Your Head In The Game

Most importantly, be safe. Not just physically but mentally too. Ultimately online dating can be a toxic, unsettling game.

It may come to a stage where you look forlornly at your phone wondering why no one is swiping or liking or whatever you. It can shake your confidence and unless you’re able to deal with those times then avoid it. Be careful with yourself and respect others, those things cost nothing. If anyone crosses the line, block or report them.

The formula if any is thus; have fun, keep your clothes on until the right time, communication is paramount and go out a bit. And please stay off it when it’s half three in the morning after you’ve been out out, you’re just locked so go to bed as it will, according to research, only add to The Fear.

Aidan Clarke
Looking at becoming one of those interesting 40 year olds who still doesn’t know what to do, that’s the goal. In the meantime though, travel, mundane experiences filtered to death, notions concerning station in life and blooper reels keep this boat afloat.

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Find us on Facebook

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Recent Posts