The Returning Irish Emigrant – What to Expect in 2017
January 17, 2017 (No Comments) by Andy Leech

the-returning-irish-emigrant-what-to-expect-in-2017

We Irish have a long tradition of emigration. For generations, we have abided by the old saying, “if you can’t stand the heat, find another kitchen. A kitchen that’s not as hot. A bigger kitchen. A kitchen where they all speak English, preferably”.

While the emigrants of famine times were setting off on their journeys never to return again, that’s not the case for those who left when the recession hit during the late noughties. You had lads, whose only previous time on an aeroplane was a trip to Santa Ponsa when they were eighteen, jetting off to Dubai, Australia, Canada etc. Those chancers were only mad to come home, sure didn’t the local club win the Intermediate last year?

But what about the other eighty odd thousand emigrants that have been jetting out of our shores for the past seven or eight years? Well for those that are planning a return to Ireland, don’t worry, the boom is back, baby!

As many of us know, the depressed, seedy country that many left in 2009 is a lot different to the forward-thinking, optimistic one that emigrants are coming back to. For those of you packing up your shades, shorts and sun cream, here are a few things to expect in 2017.

Poverty – A Thing of The Past

Ok, so when you left Ireland you were poor as shit. As was everyone else. But that has all changed. Enda Kenny, the cheeky little bugger, has only gone and fixed it! Poverty is no more, you see.

While you were away, you might have heard about the horrific homelessness problem that exists in our capital city. One of the worst in Europe, you may have heard? Well, boy do I have news for you. Glen Hansard has fixed that, too! Yeah, he and a few of his pals sang a few songs and now homelessness is a thing of the past (kind of!).

Yes, there are still a massive number of people sleeping rough, but that is an issue that an onslaught of Irish celebrities, musicians and the public are addressing to try and improve the current situation. Still unsure, just take a quick look at the Apollo House Mission on Twitter and your feel-good factor will be back up to 90! In all seriousness, although there is more work to be done, we think Glen is a fairly sound old sod!

A Racism-Free Land!

Donald Trump, Brexit, the Alt-right, it seems the world is reverting back to the 1930s. Well, we have no such problems in Ireland. In Australia you experienced the racism towards the native Aborigines. In America, you were shocked by the prejudice against, well, everyone. But when you return to Ireland in 2017, prepare to enter a racism-free, paradise of equality.

Well, apart from the Traveller community, of course. Things aren’t too enjoyable for them, what with the long-term unemployment, health problems and lower life expectancy being roundly ignored by everyone.

We’re not really a fan of non-Irish being in well-paid positions such as Doctors or Teachers, either. Sure we can’t understand them, says you! We’re also not too keen on them having the jobs we don’t want, like cleaning or working in fast food restaurants.

But apart from all that, we’re pretty darn unprejudiced.

a-racism-free-land

Women’s Rights

If you’re a woman returning to Ireland in 2017, be prepared, because you’re returning to a pretty equal and forward thinking society. Want to stay at home and look after the kids? No problemo. You’d rather go out and earn a living? You go, girl! That thick fucker Tony, who sits beside you in the office, is probably more likely to be promoted into a leadership position, being a man and all, but that can only last so long in fairness!

While you were away, you may have been frightened in a foreign land surrounded by strangers. You never took risks like walking alone at night. But when you come home, you’ll be welcomed by Paddy, Mick and Johnny with a pint of Guinness in the local! Although, 85% of the victims of sexual violence in Ireland last year knew who the perpetrator was, so maybe keep an eye on Paddy and the lads.

womens-rights

Politically InCorrect

So expect a pretty paradisiacal Ireland when you return in 2017. Oh yeah, remember that political party that sort of fecked up the country? Well, while you were gone, we voted them back in! Gas stuff.

Andy Leech
Writes about sport and the general idiocy of the human race. Once read a George Orwell book and now understands life.

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The Returning Irish Emigrant – What to Expect in 2017
January 17, 2017 (No Comments) by Andy Leech

the-returning-irish-emigrant-what-to-expect-in-2017

We Irish have a long tradition of emigration. For generations, we have abided by the old saying, “if you can’t stand the heat, find another kitchen. A kitchen that’s not as hot. A bigger kitchen. A kitchen where they all speak English, preferably”.

While the emigrants of famine times were setting off on their journeys never to return again, that’s not the case for those who left when the recession hit during the late noughties. You had lads, whose only previous time on an aeroplane was a trip to Santa Ponsa when they were eighteen, jetting off to Dubai, Australia, Canada etc. Those chancers were only mad to come home, sure didn’t the local club win the Intermediate last year?

But what about the other eighty odd thousand emigrants that have been jetting out of our shores for the past seven or eight years? Well for those that are planning a return to Ireland, don’t worry, the boom is back, baby!

As many of us know, the depressed, seedy country that many left in 2009 is a lot different to the forward-thinking, optimistic one that emigrants are coming back to. For those of you packing up your shades, shorts and sun cream, here are a few things to expect in 2017.

Poverty – A Thing of The Past

Ok, so when you left Ireland you were poor as shit. As was everyone else. But that has all changed. Enda Kenny, the cheeky little bugger, has only gone and fixed it! Poverty is no more, you see.

While you were away, you might have heard about the horrific homelessness problem that exists in our capital city. One of the worst in Europe, you may have heard? Well, boy do I have news for you. Glen Hansard has fixed that, too! Yeah, he and a few of his pals sang a few songs and now homelessness is a thing of the past (kind of!).

Yes, there are still a massive number of people sleeping rough, but that is an issue that an onslaught of Irish celebrities, musicians and the public are addressing to try and improve the current situation. Still unsure, just take a quick look at the Apollo House Mission on Twitter and your feel-good factor will be back up to 90! In all seriousness, although there is more work to be done, we think Glen is a fairly sound old sod!

A Racism-Free Land!

Donald Trump, Brexit, the Alt-right, it seems the world is reverting back to the 1930s. Well, we have no such problems in Ireland. In Australia you experienced the racism towards the native Aborigines. In America, you were shocked by the prejudice against, well, everyone. But when you return to Ireland in 2017, prepare to enter a racism-free, paradise of equality.

Well, apart from the Traveller community, of course. Things aren’t too enjoyable for them, what with the long-term unemployment, health problems and lower life expectancy being roundly ignored by everyone.

We’re not really a fan of non-Irish being in well-paid positions such as Doctors or Teachers, either. Sure we can’t understand them, says you! We’re also not too keen on them having the jobs we don’t want, like cleaning or working in fast food restaurants.

But apart from all that, we’re pretty darn unprejudiced.

a-racism-free-land

Women’s Rights

If you’re a woman returning to Ireland in 2017, be prepared, because you’re returning to a pretty equal and forward thinking society. Want to stay at home and look after the kids? No problemo. You’d rather go out and earn a living? You go, girl! That thick fucker Tony, who sits beside you in the office, is probably more likely to be promoted into a leadership position, being a man and all, but that can only last so long in fairness!

While you were away, you may have been frightened in a foreign land surrounded by strangers. You never took risks like walking alone at night. But when you come home, you’ll be welcomed by Paddy, Mick and Johnny with a pint of Guinness in the local! Although, 85% of the victims of sexual violence in Ireland last year knew who the perpetrator was, so maybe keep an eye on Paddy and the lads.

womens-rights

Politically InCorrect

So expect a pretty paradisiacal Ireland when you return in 2017. Oh yeah, remember that political party that sort of fecked up the country? Well, while you were gone, we voted them back in! Gas stuff.

Andy Leech
Writes about sport and the general idiocy of the human race. Once read a George Orwell book and now understands life.

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