We Need To Talk About ‘Ghosting’
November 15, 2017 (No Comments) by Dean Fitzgerald

Long gone are the days of courting a person you fancy for weeks on end, trying desperately to convince them to go out with you. Nowadays, people simply need to download an app, swipe right a few times, and bang! Conversations begin and romance blossoms. Or, maybe a few unsolicited naked photos, whatever takes your fancy.

Ease Of Communication

Image result for people on phones

With the incredible ease of communication between potential partners also comes the ease of ending those communications. Many young people have experienced it: You’re talking to this person on an app or online, things are going swimmingly. Then suddenly, the messages stop. They leave you on ‘seen’, the ultimate insult. You’re blind sighted by this abrupt… nothingness.

You don’t know why they just stopped talking to you, but you begin to assume the worst of yourself. Reading through old messages, you become your harshest critic. ‘You seemed desperate’, ‘That message sounds clingy’, ‘You’re coming off as a creep’ are all common thoughts racing through your mind. This is the trend known as ‘Ghosting’, whereby a person you were in contact with suddenly stops all communication.

Ghosting, It’s Simple

ghostbusting

The thing about ghosting is, it’s easy to do. It requires no effort. Simply stop caring and you’re sorted. There are several possible reasons people may ‘ghost’ someone. Many believe there was no chemistry, but don’t want to say it directly to the person out of awkwardness. Some become involved with another person, and cut all ties to previous potential partners. Then there are some who quite simply, do not care.

Tinder, the most common breeding ground for ghosting among young people, has ways with which you can take ghosting to the next level. A simple press on your screen and you can un-match with someone, regardless of how long you had been talking to another person. It’s so easy, why not do it?

But let’s all be honest with ourselves, for anyone who has been on Tinder, you rarely talk to most people you get matched with. There are a slew of guys and/or girls on your match list to whom you have never, and most likely will never send a message. If you’re not one of those people, then chances are you use the same pickup lines for all your matches.

Ghostbusting

Ghosting is a mean thing to do to another person, it’s giving people false hope, and false intentions, before cutting the legs out from under them. If you don’t want to continue whatever it is you’re doing, be honest and tell them how you feel. Most cases revolve around one person not feeling ‘the spark’, that little feeling of excitement that this could go somewhere. If they’re anyway decent, they’ll understand what you mean, if you don’t feel that spark. If they begin to go a bit mad, then obviously it means you dodged a bullet.

ghosting-its-simple

Basically, be decent and just stop ghosting people. It’s a crappy thing to do to someone else, and it doesn’t exactly cover you in glory. Should the person you ghost tell their friends, who tell their friends, and so on, you could have your reputation branded as a person who messes people about. Not the kind of reputation you want to have, especially if you’re in a small area/college/social group.

Think of the overall effect ghosting has on people. Mentally, they look at their own faults, and think there is something wrong with themselves to have someone suddenly stop messaging them. Now they feel terrible because you didn’t want to create an awkward moment, or were just too lazy to be honest. It’s not fun, it’s really not cool, and it doesn’t benefit anyone.

So stop ghosting, be honest, and be responsible online and on dating apps. Simple enough, isn’t it? While there is no straight out formula for online dating in Ireland, there are plenty of basic rules which you should try and follow, check them out here.

Dean Fitzgerald
Can relate any life problems back to GAA. Has an interest in sport of all kinds, including even cricket for some reason.

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We Need To Talk About ‘Ghosting’
November 15, 2017 (No Comments) by Dean Fitzgerald

Long gone are the days of courting a person you fancy for weeks on end, trying desperately to convince them to go out with you. Nowadays, people simply need to download an app, swipe right a few times, and bang! Conversations begin and romance blossoms. Or, maybe a few unsolicited naked photos, whatever takes your fancy.

Ease Of Communication

Image result for people on phones

With the incredible ease of communication between potential partners also comes the ease of ending those communications. Many young people have experienced it: You’re talking to this person on an app or online, things are going swimmingly. Then suddenly, the messages stop. They leave you on ‘seen’, the ultimate insult. You’re blind sighted by this abrupt… nothingness.

You don’t know why they just stopped talking to you, but you begin to assume the worst of yourself. Reading through old messages, you become your harshest critic. ‘You seemed desperate’, ‘That message sounds clingy’, ‘You’re coming off as a creep’ are all common thoughts racing through your mind. This is the trend known as ‘Ghosting’, whereby a person you were in contact with suddenly stops all communication.

Ghosting, It’s Simple

ghostbusting

The thing about ghosting is, it’s easy to do. It requires no effort. Simply stop caring and you’re sorted. There are several possible reasons people may ‘ghost’ someone. Many believe there was no chemistry, but don’t want to say it directly to the person out of awkwardness. Some become involved with another person, and cut all ties to previous potential partners. Then there are some who quite simply, do not care.

Tinder, the most common breeding ground for ghosting among young people, has ways with which you can take ghosting to the next level. A simple press on your screen and you can un-match with someone, regardless of how long you had been talking to another person. It’s so easy, why not do it?

But let’s all be honest with ourselves, for anyone who has been on Tinder, you rarely talk to most people you get matched with. There are a slew of guys and/or girls on your match list to whom you have never, and most likely will never send a message. If you’re not one of those people, then chances are you use the same pickup lines for all your matches.

Ghostbusting

Ghosting is a mean thing to do to another person, it’s giving people false hope, and false intentions, before cutting the legs out from under them. If you don’t want to continue whatever it is you’re doing, be honest and tell them how you feel. Most cases revolve around one person not feeling ‘the spark’, that little feeling of excitement that this could go somewhere. If they’re anyway decent, they’ll understand what you mean, if you don’t feel that spark. If they begin to go a bit mad, then obviously it means you dodged a bullet.

ghosting-its-simple

Basically, be decent and just stop ghosting people. It’s a crappy thing to do to someone else, and it doesn’t exactly cover you in glory. Should the person you ghost tell their friends, who tell their friends, and so on, you could have your reputation branded as a person who messes people about. Not the kind of reputation you want to have, especially if you’re in a small area/college/social group.

Think of the overall effect ghosting has on people. Mentally, they look at their own faults, and think there is something wrong with themselves to have someone suddenly stop messaging them. Now they feel terrible because you didn’t want to create an awkward moment, or were just too lazy to be honest. It’s not fun, it’s really not cool, and it doesn’t benefit anyone.

So stop ghosting, be honest, and be responsible online and on dating apps. Simple enough, isn’t it? While there is no straight out formula for online dating in Ireland, there are plenty of basic rules which you should try and follow, check them out here.

Dean Fitzgerald
Can relate any life problems back to GAA. Has an interest in sport of all kinds, including even cricket for some reason.

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