How to Cope with the Travails of Airport Travel
March 19, 2017 (No Comments) by Aidan Clarke

the-travails-of-irish-airport-travel

Living on an a island on the edge of a continent means that to get in and out of the place, the vast bulk of locals and visitors, whether they like it or not, have to take a flight.

This works out as quite a number of people, when you take into consideration that Dublin Airport just had its busiest year ever. In 2016 the airport handled over 27 million people, roughly the population of Yemen. Yeah, that’s a fair head of cattle being bussed in from around the world.

When it comes to Irish airport travel though, let’s be clear about something – we are all morons! It’s impossible not to be. There we all are being corralled about a big fancy station, prodded this way then that way. Forced to unpack a bit, disrobe slightly and de-shoe occasionally. Walk through a metal detector , have our bodies scanned, or possibly even get felt up.

There’s a lot going on and airports are rarely cold so in the midst of all this, we’re all sweating. Here are a few remedies to the most common airport related annoyances.

Catastrophic Check-Ins

Check-in online! It’s a bit of a given nowadays and you have no choice with Ryanair. However, if you are travelling long haul, the line for check-in takes a lot longer than the line for those just dropping off a bag. The reason being that even after standing in a queue for about a year, the moron at the top has buried his or her passport and ticket in the bottom of their bag.

catastrophic-check-ins

Use this time to ponder the meaning of life and prepare yourself so as not to become that person. Honestly, check-in staff ought to be beatified for their patience.

Simple Becomes Difficult

Liquids and those which are not size appropriate need to be taken out of your cabin bag, simple! It’s only water but the container is FIVE times the size of the ones on CLEARLY marked signs.

Take your damn coat off. Have it already off you. Don’t look miffed when you get guffawed by the irate folks around you. This, chief moron, is your own fault.

And the shoes people, the shoes! Look at what the others in front of you are doing. Is it so surprising that that’s what you’ve to do too? You are not that special. Right now at least.

simple-becomes-difficult

“Do you have a laptop in the bag?” If you’ve been hearing that for ten minutes then you should be aware of the correct response and action.

The belt you have on? Let’s not go there; off! Wallet, keys, phone? Get them out!

Establish Some Etiquette

Remember your queue etiquette when being called through the scanner, don’t just take off like a hare. This is the time to wait and be pleasant to your fellow moron, which continues when collecting your belongings. Don’t go re-robing and readjusting at the end of the screening belt. Have some class and step to the side.

Well done for getting through that ordeal, for it is an ordeal, without Vulcan nerve pinching anyone. Treat yourself to an overpriced airport something. Go off for a nosey through the blinding lights and olfactory assault in duty-free while you ponder whether or not you really need 7 Toblerone Bars in your life. Who doesn’t?

airport-toblerones

Relax… But Not For Long

As your fellow morons fan out around the departures lounge, bask in the false placidity that you’ve shaken them off. Because just like the unnecessary threequel in a shaky franchise, they’ll surely be back; bigger, brasher, louder and in your face. Batten down those hatches, it’s time to shepherd all the morons into a relatively small space. Get ready to board.

If this stress inducing experience is just too much to handle for your airport fearing mind, don’t worry, there are some benefits to taking a trip away. Check out our post on the Perfect European Getaway Guide to find out how to do it with ease.

Comments are closed.

Find us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter

Recent Posts

How to Cope with the Travails of Airport Travel
March 19, 2017 (No Comments) by Aidan Clarke

the-travails-of-irish-airport-travel

Living on an a island on the edge of a continent means that to get in and out of the place, the vast bulk of locals and visitors, whether they like it or not, have to take a flight.

This works out as quite a number of people, when you take into consideration that Dublin Airport just had its busiest year ever. In 2016 the airport handled over 27 million people, roughly the population of Yemen. Yeah, that’s a fair head of cattle being bussed in from around the world.

When it comes to Irish airport travel though, let’s be clear about something – we are all morons! It’s impossible not to be. There we all are being corralled about a big fancy station, prodded this way then that way. Forced to unpack a bit, disrobe slightly and de-shoe occasionally. Walk through a metal detector , have our bodies scanned, or possibly even get felt up.

There’s a lot going on and airports are rarely cold so in the midst of all this, we’re all sweating. Here are a few remedies to the most common airport related annoyances.

Catastrophic Check-Ins

Check-in online! It’s a bit of a given nowadays and you have no choice with Ryanair. However, if you are travelling long haul, the line for check-in takes a lot longer than the line for those just dropping off a bag. The reason being that even after standing in a queue for about a year, the moron at the top has buried his or her passport and ticket in the bottom of their bag.

catastrophic-check-ins

Use this time to ponder the meaning of life and prepare yourself so as not to become that person. Honestly, check-in staff ought to be beatified for their patience.

Simple Becomes Difficult

Liquids and those which are not size appropriate need to be taken out of your cabin bag, simple! It’s only water but the container is FIVE times the size of the ones on CLEARLY marked signs.

Take your damn coat off. Have it already off you. Don’t look miffed when you get guffawed by the irate folks around you. This, chief moron, is your own fault.

And the shoes people, the shoes! Look at what the others in front of you are doing. Is it so surprising that that’s what you’ve to do too? You are not that special. Right now at least.

simple-becomes-difficult

“Do you have a laptop in the bag?” If you’ve been hearing that for ten minutes then you should be aware of the correct response and action.

The belt you have on? Let’s not go there; off! Wallet, keys, phone? Get them out!

Establish Some Etiquette

Remember your queue etiquette when being called through the scanner, don’t just take off like a hare. This is the time to wait and be pleasant to your fellow moron, which continues when collecting your belongings. Don’t go re-robing and readjusting at the end of the screening belt. Have some class and step to the side.

Well done for getting through that ordeal, for it is an ordeal, without Vulcan nerve pinching anyone. Treat yourself to an overpriced airport something. Go off for a nosey through the blinding lights and olfactory assault in duty-free while you ponder whether or not you really need 7 Toblerone Bars in your life. Who doesn’t?

airport-toblerones

Relax… But Not For Long

As your fellow morons fan out around the departures lounge, bask in the false placidity that you’ve shaken them off. Because just like the unnecessary threequel in a shaky franchise, they’ll surely be back; bigger, brasher, louder and in your face. Batten down those hatches, it’s time to shepherd all the morons into a relatively small space. Get ready to board.

If this stress inducing experience is just too much to handle for your airport fearing mind, don’t worry, there are some benefits to taking a trip away. Check out our post on the Perfect European Getaway Guide to find out how to do it with ease.



on Twitter


on Facebook


on Google+

Comments are closed.

Find us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter

Recent Posts